I was not in Greece for a long time, as the famous “Colonels Coup” had happened, and all of the prisoners in camps all over Greece were exchanged for others as the politics changed. This coup (which was organised by the CIA) caused an exchange of prisoners, the original prisoners were changed for a bunch of people who against the “Colonels”. Which included me.
Greece suddenly became a much more fascist state, reflecting the current state of American politics, and so it was really difficult to express yourself about all manner of issues and avoid being bunged into prison. Ah well, all good things end.
For a while, Greece became impossible to visit. Or at least if you were aware of politics. The “normal” tourists still went to Greece, but politically aware ones avoided it like the plague.
After the coup had softened its grip on power, Greece once again became possible to visit, and the Greek nature showed through once again, and the political prisoners once again changed back to the ones that the “Colonels” had imprisoned life became once again possible.
In other words, all changed back to the way things had been before the infamous coup, and Greece once again became Greece!
In a recent post I mentioned that I had a problem with the words “Loose” and “Lose”, I can never remember which one I need.
This caused this rather long, but funny and apposite poem to happen.
Written by a Dutchman a fair while ago, it is a very sharp and clear, if despairing, look at how English is spelled and pronounced. So whilst it has nothing to do with much, I am posting it here for your amusement.
So read on and be prepared to be amazed at how the world’s major language is such a mess.
DROP YOUR FOREIGN ACCENT: BY CHARIVARIUS
Dearest creature in creation,
studying English pronunciation,
I will teach you in my verse;
sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.
I will keep you, Susy, busy,
make your head with heat grow dizzy;
Tear in eye, your dress you’ll tear,
so shall I!! Oh, hear my prayer.
Pray, console your loving poet,
make my coat look new, dear, sew it!
Just compare, heart, beard and heard,
dies, diet, lord and word,
sword and sward, retain and Britain,
(Mind the letter, how it’s written)
Made has not the sound of bade.
Say‑said, pay‑paid, laid but plaid.
Now I surely will not plague you
with such words as vague and ague,
but be careful how you speak,
say break, steak, but bleak and streak,
previous, precious, fuchsia, via;
Pipe, snipe, recipe and chair,
cloven, oven, how and low,
script, receipt, shoe, poem, toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
daughter, laughter and terpsichore,
typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
exiles, similes, reviles;
wholly, holly, signal, sighing;
Thames, examining, combining,
scholar, vicar and cigar,
solar, mica, war and far.
From desire, desirable. Admirable from admiral.
Lumber, plumber, bier but brier.
Chatham, brougham; renown but known.
Knowledge done, but gone and tone.
One, anemone; Balmoral,
kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
scene, melpomene, mankind,
tortoise, turquoise, chamois leather.
Reading, reading, heathen, heather.
This phonetic labyrinth
gives moss, gross, brook, brooch, ninth and plinth.
Billet does not sound like ballet,
bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
nor is mould like should and would.
Banquet is not nearly parquet,
which is said to rhyme with darky.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
toward, to forward, to reward,
and your pronunciation is OK,
when you say correctly croquet.
rounded, wounded, grieve and sleeve,
friend and fiend; alive and live,
liberty, library; heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache moustache; eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
people, leopard; towed but vowed.
Mark the difference moreover,
between mover, plover, Dover,
leaches, breeches; wise, precise;
chalice, but police and lice,
camel, constable, unstable,
principle, disciple, label,
petal, penal and canal.
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal,
suite, suite, run, circuit, conduit,
rhyme with shirk it, and beyond it.
But it is not hard to tell
why it’s Pall Mall but pell mell,
muscle, muscular, goal, iron
timber, climber, bullion, lion;
worm and storm; chaise, chaos, chair,
senator, spectator, mayor,
ivy, privy; famous, clamour
and enamour rhyme with hammer.
Pussy, hussy and possess,
desert but dessert and address,
golf, wolf, countenance, lieutenants,
hoist, in lieu of flags, left, pennants,
river, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
neither does devour with clangour.
Soul but foul, and gaunt but aunt,
font, front, want, wont, grand and grant,
shoes, goes, does. Now first say
finger,
and then, singer, ginger, linger,
real, zeal, mauve, gauze and gauge,
marriage, foliage, mirage, age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, job, blossoms, bosoms, oath.
Though the difference seems little,
we say actual, but victual,
seat, sweat, chaste and caste; Leigh, eight and height,
put, nut, granite but unite.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer,
feoffer does and zephyr, heifer,
dull, bull, Geoffrey, George, ate, late,
rint, pint, senate and sedate,
scenic, arabic, pacific,
science, conscience, scientific.
Tour, but our, and succour, four,
gas and alas and Arkansas!
Sea, idea, guinea, area,
psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean,
doctrine, turpentine, marine,
compare alien with Italian,
dandelion with batallion,
Sally with ally, yea, ye.
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, key, quay!
Say aver, but ever fever,
neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Never guess, it is not safe.
We say calves, valves, half but Ralph!
Heron, granary, canary,
crevice and device and eyrie;
face but preface, but efface,
phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
ought, out, joust and scour, but scourging,
ear but earn and wear and tear,
does not rhyme with here, but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
hyphen, roughen, nephew, Stephen,
monkey, donkey, clerk and jerk,
asp, grasp, wasp and cork and work.
Pronunciation‑ think of psyche!
is a paling stout and spiky?
Won’t it make you lose your wits,
writing groats, and saying grits?
It’s a dark abyss or tunnel,
strewn with stones, like rowlock, gunwale,
Islington, and Isle of Wight,
housewife, verdict and indict!
Don’t you think so reader, rather
saying lather, bather, father?
Finally, which rhymes with enough,
though, through, plough, cough, hough or tough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup….
My advice is, give it up!
‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑o‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑
See what I mean?
I have always been astonished that any non English speaker has ever managed to learn my language…
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So, here we have the language with the largest vocabulary of all the world’s languages, but owing to where it gets its words from, the most illogical spelling and pronunciation of all the world’s languages too. Any thoughts on this?
OZTHOUGHTS 