This is how it will be……..
This is made up of depressing images…… Unfortunately. The way the images stir you will be telling for how you approach them.
This is one that says it all.
An industrial accident…… We hope!
An accident…. We hope!
A suicide….. we HOPE!!!
This one is horrible!!
This one is what nightmares are made of!
This one is awful!
A player to finish with……….
So, there you have it, all manner of sick images to play around with…. Have fun!
The thing is weird the way my thinking is going right now, it is going all over the place, odd eh?
I set out to deny something, and instead I say “yes”, it is all over the place my language.
I look at men my age (that is 82) who apparently have thoughts that are clear, and I compare myself to them, and I despair, my thoughts are so muddling and chaotic. I have real problems talking…. My talk is chaotic and problematic.
I have coffee every week with a mate, and I have real difficulty communicating with him… My talk with him is broken up, and I realise that he wont be meeting me every week soon, as he gets really impatient with my long silences. I have a creative and solid conversation with him in my mind, but not out loud which is trying and not fair to him!
I despair!
My life is going upside down, as I live life here. My life in Australia is going upside down and frazzled while I watch. I am currently deep inside a language loss, which is really bothersome. My inner language is not effected, but the language I use everyday to talk to others is really deeply effected. I frequently find myself suffering from a language loss when talking to others.
Yesterday, I was at the library for a rather easy to solve problem (I was there to get my ereader sorted out), and I found myself completely speechless when I attempted to explain why I was there to the bloke from the library, I simply was at a loss for words when I tried to explain why I was there. Totally! I find myself at a loss for words frequently, even with my wife!
A lot of time I find myself giving the wrong answer to a question, I say no when I mean yes…. It is horrid!
I find myself in conversations with good friends, which go completely the wrong way, I want to say, ‘yes’, but I say ‘no……’
Also, I am having problems with spelling, I cant find words, which I know really well, I simply can’t find them, and I more or less forget ideas. The other day I was telling a friend about the Spooky Men’s Chorale, and could I remember what they were called…. Forget it!
All sorts of problems are happening to me, and I seem to be going gaga rather rapidly, which is really distressing!
However, it is absolutely my spoken language, my thoughts are still the same as always, in other words, I have no difficulty “thinking” thoughts, but expressing them is hell.
OZTHOUGHTS 